I’ve been in love with the idea of electrosex for, like, ever. I’ve looked all all over the internets (which is, of course, a series of interconnected tubes) for reliable reviews of beginner electrosex kits, but to no avail. So when I saw that TabuToys.com offered the Zeus Electrosex Beginner’s Kit, I decided it was high time to put my voice out there.
I am a happy little camper now that I have a little electrosex kit in hand. As you may have noted, I like fairly intense pain sensations â€“ both on the giving and receiving ends. Electrosex sex toys have the ability to deliver exactly that â€“ and also to caress and massage â€“ all without leaving a mark behind. This is a good thing for a scene that needs to be mark free â€“ yet intense, which are normally mutually exclusive terms in my world.
In A Nutshell: This is a pretty damned complete kit-o-fun. It’s got everything one might need to start a foray into electrosex, and it’s without much risk as it’s actually a therapeutic device in disguise (for a damn good price).
What’s Awesome? You get a two channel tens unit, a good pile of disposable tens pads to get you started, and then a bonus set of electrical clamps and finally permanent rubber pads (in need of adhesive to be useful) all in one charming little box
What’s Not So Awesome? Well, this is a TENS unit, so the instruction booklet betrays its real function. The disposable pads are a bit touch and go with their stimulation â€“ I don’t think they are uber high quality. And while it is cool to get the permanent rubber pads, it’s not actually immediately clear how in the heck they’re actually used.
The power box in this kit is actually a simple little tens unit â€“ labeled as â€œFine Tensâ€. It features a belt clip on the back, two intensity knobs and two ports on the top, and a sliding batter cover ob the front. The sliding battery cover hides not only the battery (which is a 9V, and comes included, FYI), but also a couple of knobs that allow you to tweak the pulse width and frequency, as well as a small switch used to select between pulse patterns (M, N and B). If this all sounds a bit complicated, that’s because it is, so let me attempt to break it down a bit better
- There are TWO channels, which can be used independently at different intensities. The intensities are controlled via the intensity control knobs at the top of the device.
- The pulsation can be chosen as constant (‘N’), pulsing fast (‘B’) and pulsing slowly (‘M’).
- The width of the pulses can be adjusted with the pulse width knob. This effects both channels the exact same way. A longer pulse has the effect of feeling more intense, simply because it is applied for a longer time.
- The frequency of the pulses can be adjusted with the pulse frequency knob, changing (on both channels) how often the pulses fire per minute.
Now, all of these options are great, especially if you want your TENS unit to do double duty as a tool to massage out muscle knots and such, or if you want to apply more relaxing and mellow sensations in between highly intense sensations. However, I have found it simplest to simply leave the pulse width at max and the pulse frequency at max, and the pattern switch on normal, and to otherwise just use the main intensity control knobs to increase and decrease the amount of electrical pain being administered. In this configuration, the low end of the intensity feels simply exhilarating, where the high end feels like clenching pain. To me, this seems like a good range to play around in, and I don’t really see the benefit of mucking with differing frequencies and such. But that’s just me â€“ I’m a bit of a reductionist.
The unit comes with three different wires that can be plugged into the unit. Either channel can be used, or both at once, just remember that the intensity knobs are independent. There are two sets of wires that lead to pins, for attachment to to sticky tens pads or the rubber pads. There is a bonus wire included in the kit that leads to some gentle wide tipped clamps, perfectly adequate for attachment to…well anywhere, actually. This particular unit has female ports that accept accessories with 2.5mm plugs (more on this in later reviews)
The sticky TENS pads attach individually to the dipoles at the end of the wires that lead to pins. For an electrical charge to flow through the body, the circuit must be complete, thus, two tens pads must be in contact with the body per channel. TENS units excel at massaging muscles, so an obvious point of application will be any major muscle group, but the less muscle-y areas of the body can feel somewhat more painful. The sticky pads are reusable, and can be cleaned with just plain water. In fact, if they lose their stickiness, the remedy to to clean them off and clean the areas of application. Now, because they can’t exactly be washed or sterilized, make sure to be smart about sharing the tens pads, and go ahead and label to ones that get to go on a particular persons bits. The kit comes with 8 pads in total (again, you need two per channel), so there’s a big excess to start out with. Each pad should be able to live through a dozen or so sessions, and replacement pads can be purchased at medical supply stores, or online. Also available online and at medical supply stores is the adhesive that can be used to stick the â€œpermanentâ€ rubber pads to your body. The rubber pads will survive better over time, lasting much more than ten sessions, but requiring the occasional change of the sticky adhesive.
In practice, it is difficult to get the pre-made pads to deliver a good shock â€“ they seem to work best when pressure is applied to them. This is easily solved by using of a well placed silk scarf (or the included velcro straps) over the point of contact Fortunately, however, the rubber pads kick ass and conduct quite well as well. The rubber pads don’t really work without adhesive, so do make sure to pick some up (again, available from medical supply stores) in order to see that kit’s potential. Finally, the gentle clamps that shock while pinching can be used as is, and are quite wonderful. I like them on my labia…
And now a disclaimer. General electrosex safety guidelines say â€œnever above the waistâ€. However, this is confusing to me because this is a TENS unit and is marketed CLEARLY in the vanilla world with suggestions to massage sore back muscles, attach breast massage pads (sold separately), and to use the clamps and ear massagers (!). As such, I have chosen to carefully scrutinize all electrosex gear I have and decide if it’s vanilla world creation dictates use above the waist, than that is OK. However, in later reviews I will be discussing assorted accessories, designed specifically for kinkiness, and those I will choose to use only below the waist. This is my choice, however, and one I will never force upon a play partner without consent and discussion. You should make your own choices And it goes without saying that those with pacemakers do not pass go on this toy.